Campus Engagement

Campus Engagement #1

On November 14, 2011 I attended Dan Savage’s Q&A about sex. It was very interesting because, most people prefer not to speak out so clearly about sex. Many people still treat the subject as taboo. What I liked most was how open the questions were. And, the questions were not just about sex but it included questions on relationships as well. Dan answered the questions by offering advice. However, there was one question that I did not agree with Dan’s response, at first. One of the audience members had asked “how can I stop my boyfriend from objectifying me”? His response was “why would you want him not to”? To be honest it made me upset that he would answer it like that because I just couldn’t understand how being objectified would be a good thing. But, then he went into detail about what he meant. He basically said that it is good to have someone see you for your physical attributes sometimes, because it gives a boost of confidence for the girlfriend/boyfriend. He did say that it shouldn’t happen all the time because, then that’s when it becomes rude.  It’s good to receive a compliment every once in a while from your significant other. I have to say that he got me on that one because, once he put it that way I wasn’t so upset with his answer. Another question asked was “what were his thoughts on monogamy”? Dan gave an interesting answer again because, this question lead to speaking about being “faithful”. He explained that if two people can remain monogamous then it is a great accomplishment for that couple. His advice was that to have a strong relationship with your partner both need to be very opened with each other and, to discuss the possibilities of being unfaithful. Dan began to explain that this conversation should be one of the first between a couple and, trying to figure out what will happen and even if the “relationship can survive” this predicament. Which, I thought was an effective way of approaching such a stressful situation. But, he really caught my attention when he asked the audience a question. “If you discover your partner cheated on you 15 years ago are you going to throw away all those memories and moments together over a mistake”? Dan was trying to ask if that one error was more important than the relationship. That question gets you and makes you think very hard about how or what to do in that situation. And, then of course there were some really explicit questions that made me laugh because I know I wouldn’t have even thought to ask about. The only thing missing was I would have liked that there were more questions concerning women issues but, overall it was a fun and good experience.